Friday, December 4, 2009

While mommy's away...

On my first trip to Boston since BB (Before Baby). I felt like it was important to go... to see my co-workers face-to-face for the first time in 6 months, to reconnect with friends, and to talk to a real estate agent about selling my Cambridge pad (boo hoo!!!). I am missing my little guy so much (and his daddy, too!) but it is wonderful to know that he's in the good hands of his grandparents and daddy (and starting tomorrow, his Aunt Andrea, too!) I'll be home early Sunday morning and it will be fun to see how much he's changed in 5 days, which sounds funny to say but at this stage it is true.

In case I wasn't feeling guilty enough about leaving, I went to a play with friends the other night and it turned out that it was kind of a contemporary Alice-in-Wonderland story about a mother running away from her family of two little boys for 20 years. I was definitely a little uncomfortable through the whole play, and kept hoping she was going to wake up and find that the whole surreal adventure she had was a dream. But no, in the last scene she had become a psychiatrist practicing in Alaska under a new name and her (now adult) son came for an appointment to get some sleeping pills because it was the time of year when his mother disappeared!

Yes, Micah, I'll be back on Sunday, I promise.

Seriously, as much as I've enjoyed the uninterrupted sleep (and yes, I really have enjoyed it!) this trip was important for me to remember a bit more of who I am in Boston so I can try to bring a bit of that person back to Denver with me. I like who I am here so much more than Denver -- a city girl who is out and about on the town, independent, experimental, with a huge network of old friends, a congregation I fit into perfectly, and a town and state that I love to my very bones. I just don't know how to bring her to Denver, where I have a house in the borning suburbs, no connection to the landscape, and a job that doesn't even require me to get out of my pajamas in the morning.

Of course most of my conversations here have been showing off pictures of my beautiful baby. I feel very lucky I'm somehow managed to have it all -- to live in both Boston and Denver, to have new friends but keep the old; to be a city girl and a suburban mom at the same time. So it goes, and so I'll happily go back to being Denver Stephanie on Sunday.

But I sure will enjoy two more nights of sleep first!!!!


  1. Integrating the new role of "Mom," I think, takes a lifetime...

  2. i think feelings of guilt go hand in hand with momminess.

    don't be too hard on yourself.


  3. I hope that you enjoyed your trip to Boston! We're going back in January to see our families. Your post had me feeling a little nostalgic for the city I love so dearly too.

    A funny story for you -- every trip to Boston our first stop is always a Dunkin' Donuts followed by Pizzeria Regina, Border Cafe, Chinese food, Kelley's Roast Beef and many Italian Restaurants. My mother will always ask (with her amazing Boston accent) "Tray, don't they have food in California? You always come home so hungry." They do Ma, it's just not "HOME."

  4. Boston is great! Wisteria Lane is just totally opposite to city living. A little trip to the city every once in a while will be your own special treat to enjoy... most importantly whole nights of sleeping:) Enjoy your weekend!